"“I sincerely hope that this is the final wedding film I'll ever have to sit through...”"

The Knot – written by and starring Noel Clarke – is the third British comedy to be released in the past two months that is all about weddings, full to the brim of the cliched and conventional aspects that come with this very theme - such as best man's speeches, stag-nights, hen-do's, losing rings, taking drugs, etc. I sincerely hope that this is the final wedding film I'll ever have to sit through.

We follow the build up of the big day for happy couple Jeremy (Matthew McNulty) and Alexandra (Talulah Riley), who, respectively, are coming across a fair amount of stumbling blocks ahead of their wedding. Jeremy, who wakes up besides a transvestite, is recovering from a heavy stag-do the previous night, having to deal with a series of pranks and mishaps from his best man Peter (Clarke) and fellow clumsy friends, as they drop his ring into the toilet, forget to book his car and accidentally intrude on someone else’s wedding.

Meanwhile Alexandra and co. are going through problems of their own, as the bridesmaids find themselves in A&E at one point due to an incident with broken glass, whilst they can't seem to track down Anisha (Rhoda Montemayor) who has run off with a stripper she encountered on the hen-night. As both parties stress over getting to the wedding on time, none of them had actually spared a thought for what may occur once they're there...

Where The Knot  - a romantic comedy lets not forget - suffers the most, is within its inability to be either romantic or comedic in the slightest. Bearing a quite terrible script, this picture reminds me of something I would have written for a secondary school assignment. And even then I would have got a bad grade for it. It's simply unfunny, with a host of recycled jokes we've heard a million times over, with about as much cliched drama found as in an Eastenders wedding. Except at least that has the benefit of being a third of the length.

It just doesn't feel original in the slightest, bringing absolutely nothing new to the genre. Just imagine if The Hangover and Bridesmaids gave birth to a very ugly baby. Well, this is that very ugly baby. Weddings have become such a familiar stomping ground within British comedy that it has simply grown tiresome, and it takes no less than five or six minutes into this before you look down at your watch. And when you see how little time has passed, that's when you start fearing the worst. As the bouquet is flung into the air to be caught by a hopeful, single woman – you can't help but pray it lands in the bin, just to help avoid any potential sequel.

The Knot is a cold film, you feel absolutely no warmth to any character in particular, nor do you like any one of them. You care more for the closing credits than you do for the wedding, or the sake of Jeremy and Alexandra's relationship. There is a horribly mawkish attempt at actually giving this film some poignancy also, with a cringe-worthy effort at defining true love. When all we have done is witness these vulgar characters stick their heads down toilets and wipe each other's bottoms, it becomes increasingly difficult to then take them at all seriously later on, not to mention the fact there is so little chemistry between McNulty and Riley that we don't care or believe in their relationship in the slightest.

I do actually admire Clarke for trying something different, and following on from the enjoyable sci-fi Storage 24 it's refreshing to see a British film maker try his hand at various different genres, but having now seen The Knot, I can't help but wish he hadn't bothered. Offensively unfunny, unenjoyable and predictable - this is a film worth skipping, and one that seems to have put me off ever getting married. Or going to the cinema again for that matter.